Abstract Tumblr Themes


The KKK is handing out candy to try and recruit people in South Carolina.

Our brains react to poetry the same way it does to music.

On August 21st, FXX will start a 278-hour marathon of “The Simpsons”… Every episode. Ever.

The proper response to “top o’ the mornin to ya” is “and the…


"okay class who wants to present first"




cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call


Guy on train:  I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me:  *turns up music*
Guy:  I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me:  *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy:  Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Guy:  Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door:  Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy:  Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady:  *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me:  Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop:  I can make that happen.
Guy:  Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop:  And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train:  *applauds*


every breath you take




i’ll be watching you



Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish

perform the following ritualimage


today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant”